Seen and Anchored

 Hello wonderful  parents! May I share something with you that I had been told in 2015? "You are not mental. Mental illness happened to you." This post is for the parents who find it especially hard to navigate life for themselves and families. I was diagnosed with PTSD in 2015 and bipolar in 2018. I was meeting with a parent tonight and I was able to share these wise words to her. They seemed to offer hope, that nothing was wrong with her. They certainly offered me hope when I first heard them. There is nothing wrong with having mental health. #mentalhealthishealth . Parenting is hard work! Some days we are barely able to keep it together, and then others we are laughing and being creative with our kiddos. But here's some truth for you, you don't have to keep it together! Your kids only need you! They need your love, acceptance, nurturance and yes, even your emotions. They teach them how to be human. Since they watch everything we do, we can teach them how to navig...

 As I sit with my boys waiting for my husband (daddy) to get home for dinner, I have a question in my mind. What makes me who I am? Really, of all the parents out there, what makes me my unique self? I can think of a few things that come to mind. But I invite you now to also ask yourself this question.  The most important thing to me is my faith! It's saved my life more times than I can count. I know that I have been protected, loved, and favored my whole life. I've been called to shine light in the darkness. An identity I have been given by God, that I have come to appreciate, is being a polarizer. A little ironic, being that I have been diagnosed with PTSD and Bi-Polar. I'm not ashamed to talk about my mental illness because, it's nothing to be ashamed of. I didn't ask for it, I wouldn't have chosen that for myself, and yet now, I finally can understand the mania and collapse I have during immensely stressful seasons.  In my healing journey, I have always been...

What was your childhood like? The first part of my childhood was not so great. My father was an alcoholic and traveled for work so he would be gone for stretches of a time and then home for stretches of a Time. When he was angry, he would throw things and was verbally abusive. I was always afraid to tell my parents if I did something wrong because I was afraid of how bad the punishment would be. I also experienced sexual abuse from a man from church so begin my distrust of men. I remember telling my mother, but she didn't know how to handle it because she too, had experienced years of abuse as a child. By the grace of God, my father came to know Jesus and stopped drinking and his destructive behavior and so began the new phase of my childhood! I was fortunate to come to know Jesus myself and thus begin my journey of healing from past wounds.  When I married my husband, we wrote down a list of things we wanted different in our family then what we had experienced growing up. Our home...

 I wrote a song recently called, "Come to the Lighthouse." It's beautiful, but still needs to be worked on so I'm not ready to share it just yet. The lighthouse has always been a beautiful thing to me! The waves crashing up against it mercilessly, and yet it still stands a beacon in the night. It's the greatest example for me of when Jesus told Peter, "On this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades shall not prevail against it" (Matthew 16:18). Think about that for a second. Lighthouses are built on rocks and no storms can prevail against them! Kind of sounds like a church right? Or better yet Jesus! Here's a sneak peak of the chorus, just so you can understand my point:  Oh, come to the lighthouse that shines so bright  Oh, come to the harbor, safe in the night  Oh, come to the Father, His arms open wide  Come now to Jesus and stay by his side.  Can't wait to share the rest sometime (hopefully soon).  Why can the lighthouse stand th...

Ever feel like every day is the same? Get up try and use the bathroom before little mouths wake up hungry, immediately get breakfast on the table, try to spend some time with God, throw on a movie or show that has already been asked for like the 400th time, just as you are about to eat yourself your adorable 5 month old wakes up so that's out because he needs to nurse. Your older son is watching T.V. your youngest is nursing and just to have some "you" time you are on your phone checking Facebook. It's not even 9 in the morning. Many mornings go by with this same routine it can get boring at times. Today however I got a beautiful "download" from God about how to see the mundane days of being a stay at home mom. Turn with me to John 6. The story of Jesus feeding the five thousand struck me in a fresh way this morning. No one could have predicted what miracle was about to take place from such an ordinary lunch. I'm sure a lot of people could read over this...

My Story:    I am the youngest of three.   I don ’ t remember a time when my parents got along. My mom had more of a passive personality and my dad was more overbearing, and so the combination was wrought with failure from the start.   They divorced when I was 10, and the three of us siblings stayed with my dad per their agreement.   My mom remarried a few years later and went on to have 2 more children when I was in high school. I remember feeling very afraid in the beginning. And missing my mom all the time. We saw her maybe once a week. And once she was established with her second family, the visits were less frequent. I did not end up having a close connection with her despite her being a part of my life up until she passed a few years ago.   My dad loved us, no doubt about it, but struggled in his own ways with how to parent, especially on his own.  We grew up with a  “ power-over ”  parenting paradigm.   I remember being uncertain ...

She came from a Christian family attending church in a little town in New Mexico. Her Dad was the choir director and her parents worked with the youth at her church. She accepted Jesus into her life at the age of 6. She lived with her mom, dad and brother. Walking in the light of a Christian home everything looked "put together." This all changed when an affair changed her family's lives.  Her parents were separated for 9 months. God healed their marriage after much betrayal.  Her dad found a job in Louisiana when she was 8 years old. Her parents decided a move would help the family make a new start. They got involved with the choir and youth group at their new church and felt that the move had been a good decision. Another brother was added to the family when she was 10. At 11, she started attending the church youth group but felt like everyone was watching her as the youth leader’s child.  At the end of 7th grade her family returned from vacation to find that her Dad ha...